Catharsis

Just wanna say…

1437

Wow…just realise that I have not

blogged and come on this plate

for a wee long time!

Blame work and love

so tiring at work

still a workaholic

now a humble student again

just started on my masters

love…love…love

i know you like to hear it

and i seldom really say it

here goes "love you, baby"

haha…friends ask

"why so busy?"

perhaps nowadays

aspirations at work wane a little

compared to when i just stepped out of uni

as long as it’s stable at work

it’s ok

i am more concerned with pursuing more

more knowledge

more time with my love

more dreams of the future

Now that we have a vision

a vision so real

i will stay true to my words

it’s a reality soon

Love you…

even stoning with you

seems like a swirling great time!

p/s: dearie, I am still stuck at peugeot. servicing really very boring without you here…i can only surf the net lor…fingers crossed!

It’s a bad time

to have a break right now

especially I am leaving my rascals

for such a long time

Hospitalised for 4 days

on hospitalisation leave till 4th Oct

really an unwanted break

can’t walk, right down

whatever soft tissue sprain

muscles swell on nerves

doesn’t make sense to me

I am so worried

about so many things

my rascals

my family

whatever and ever

why must it be

now?

I want to recover

soon

A lot of sweet friends

did a lot of nice things

during this unwanted break

those who visited me were just too nice

I will always remember

I am not an ungrateful self

I often tell myself

one good that people do you

return with ten good

It’s such times that

you realise true goodness…

I’m so lost…

one moment you made me feel treasured

one moment you dawned on me that

I am not doing enough

or giving enough affection…

I tried,

tried to modify my manner

of attention-bestowing

I tried,

tried to put you foremost

I tried,

tried of not tired

of trying…

My past experiences taught me to treasure

I don’t want to master

an art of fake affection

Whatever I show,

I want it to be real

I can see us down the lane

don’t let me lose sight

gather your faith as I

gather my strength

Love. Faith. Strength.

Will prevail.

BB, it’s still ………………………………………………………..for me when I am with you.

Always enjoyed a good read

there’s crazy stuff I will do

to feast my mind on a read

that interests me

yesterday

Harry Potter 7 did the trick

for a single nite

I geared through the book

perhaps you might think HPATDH

is not great adult fiction stuff

but I have been a loyal fan

since the very first book

The emotions were complex

I could not tear myself away from

a double-sided coin of

rich hungry anticipation and

don’t-want-it-to-end torment

I gobbled up the plot

engrossed with the book

yet re-reading every sentence

to make sure that I’m tasting it

in the best flavour

not wanting to do injustice to it

fearing of the so-called the end

Perhaps it’s due to a tiring day I had earlier

father in SGH

attended my chum-chum’s daughter’s b-dae

which I have no complaints of

gladly did both tasks

before settling myself

at East Coast McCafe

for the mission of

slaying and protecting my precious read

Alas! I seem to have gone wirey

perhaps because the weather was right

cool slight drizzle coupled with a quiet tinge

I couldn’t stop reading

until being shown the red card by BB

who threw in the towel

in the smartest way you can imagine

whine like a cute puppy

but look like an inferi princess with panda eyes

so that I will be moved (literally huh) to

start driving back from East Coast

And when I’m home

I ravished the read

and as dawn breaks

I wondered if I will make news

if I die reading it in the succession

Finally… I completed the task

as if I have competed in a triwizard

Felt thoroughly rewarded

as it might be the best ever instalment

Now at work I’m feeling the effect

of blur images and sleepy potions

hopefully I will endure through the day

still lingering in the

satisfaction of comprehension

knowing that

All is well…

Note: It is end of work. A few hours apart from what I’ve typed earlier…tired and feeling faintly of the dementor’s smooch…

First freakin’ time

I’ve got sore eyes

Really crazy

Must make sure I dun

infect others so must be

disinfect disinfect disinfect

feels like school to me

anyway it’s quite cool to have red eyes

feels like a vampire

that’s what I always think I am

home-style cheeseboard & wine

makes the stay more fine

anyway sore seems to be a good word

for my life now

sore and bruised

from my expensive (it’s an understatement) hobby

obssession with the reds and blues

my sleepless nites

only my dearest to pick me up

I really must be blessed

for the life-saving ropes thrown

to me in the pit

it’s time to grow up

from a sore loser

to what she believes in me

a promise made

a promise kept

no more no more

it’s for my own good

to keep my wealth

for our dreams to come

I learn

I must learn

learn to be

what she believe in me.

p/s: Counting down to the getaway!

I watched the local comedy

Follow law

it really cracks me up

whenever I think of it

and the red tapes pop up again last friday I had my

promotion ceremony

one word: Boring!

It’s really stupid

sorry I have no other choices of words

Wait and wait and wait

for the big guns to deliver their speeches

Forever and forever

And just when you thought they are ending

it’s like watching a cantonese movie

where the bad guy never dies

and spring back to life after the good guy

sticks a few knives into him

the baddie still can get up swiftly

well you get the idea…

finally the baddie dies and the ceremony can get on

and then wait and wait until your name is called

just to go on stage to receive a scroll and

smile for the camera and then

go down and wait and wait until

everyone takes his turn

Can’t they cut the procedure?

I mean that’s the thing about civil service

can’t they make it more hip or something

so that I don’t feel that I have wasted my time

at the hotel doing a wait-see-look-clap-wait routine

Oh well luckily I survived that

then went Goodwood Park to check out

their banquet packages for an event

This position of SWC "blindman" is really

a glutton on my time

Then went to Hyatt to check their mezza9 out

finally settled at Scotts lounge with Yiru

to chill out and BB joined us later

Went Cineleisure then found out that

shows were either too late or seats were not good

so we went home as I gotta wake up

at 8 for a briefing for omers’ parents at work

Briefing dragged and dragged because the parents

had so many questions about the USA trip

they just can’t get the transit right

so it went on and on until I felt like a statue

Then with Jason we sat down to discuss

the official opening stuff which I am again

pinned down with loads of stuff to prepare

and after the meeting I stayed back alone to do

the duty list till 2 plus

Bought pasta and sauteed vege back

and I fell asleep when BB issued me an ultimatum

to go or not to go

I got phobia of meeting mothers

just that a lot of sad experiences

but she made it easier by cracking jokes

about me being a scardy cat then

finally I found myself next at a table

where we had the mother day’s dinner

I tried to relax and seemed like

everything went well

BB kept putting food in my bowl

so at least I had an activity to act busy in

and her mum really liked the flowers and gift

we got for her

so finally my uphill task was completed

and we rewarded ourselves with Spiderman 3

Actually I still liked Spidey 2 better

Anyway went home watched soccer till wee hours

woke up in a frantic to attend Su’s wedding

after which we went Bottle tree to check out

the place for the big event again

not suitable totally

and since my mum can’t celebrate anything this year

she went on her dry swimming and we met

the two fat aunties aka my sisters

for dinner at holland v as it was zuan’s birthday

Had a session off our foot reflexology package

at Serenity Cove (best place for massages, I swear by it)

and had lots of laughs when zuan says

maybe we eat at The Body Shop

then alarm bells rang as I think that

she better come out and see the world more

if not she would bring people to eat at

Charles & Keith too

Quite nice nite actually

and finally it’s a work day again…

Internet

where I am now

jotting down my thoughts

Convenience, technology, speed

you know all of these

but think

the net can be a revival tool

of memories that have been encrypted

BB told me she likes to revsit

blogs that have been read before

How true… I think all of us do that

once in a while

Reliving memories meant that

paths are dug for deja vu

In sadness, hurt, happiness & blah blah

I am a sucker for emotions I guess

Everything affects me more when

memories are re-lived

And even when reading a happy blog

makes me feel sad that it’s a pity that moment is over

I think this is really not a very

rational entry just a lament

Without internet

life would be much simpler

no one can get more peeks into

history

updates of guests who crossed your paths before

I will be more ignorant

and feeling less

I think if you can survive this post up to here

you will realise how contradictory I am

Someone who always feel more

wants to feel less

But yet it’s only occasional

as I prefer to bask

in the light of thinking & feeling

It is a source of knowledge

that I am unwilling to forsake

Life is as such

Knowledge is a power

and metacognition the bonus

but yet

without knowledge

comes a simple bliss…

Know what I’m rambling about?

I guess if you do

we click

Sometimes I hate the heart

hate the heart

that tingles for emotions

that feels for feeling

that crinkles in anger

that cries in silence

that screams unseen

that works at odds

that hatred is futilely harnessed

Life’s a bitch

heard that million times

yet all of us are

flirting with the tart

wish life’s was a 1080AD bitch

perhaps I’m too much

a control freak and

a perfectionist who wants

things done with the heart

I feel so much

yet so much is a pain

nowadays I look forward

to a world where only

two are in a bubble

something I have never wished for

in the past

yet as the phrase goes

in a bubble

a fragile breakable membrane

that I seek to maintain

Give me strength to

work hard love hard play hard

let my soul find real peace

above all these ramblings

I still feel life is wonderful

perhaps I’m just too ambitious

alrighty share a good news

I have just been promoted

Just thinking of the recent trip

my first in all times

Driving up on foreign land

400km at least to click

A great adventure

and a test of eyesight

cos’ it’s in the wee hours

that we rode on

in that couple seats

Baby was really supportive

trying to talk, joke and sing

to get me to the destination safely

A twist of events got us a room

whatever happens there

is also mundane to boot

but the real test came on the trip back

that took 5 hours instead

as we counted 3 pit-stops

so as to make the final lap

it was tiring and scary

as I almost can’t keep my eyes open

but the whole ride inspires me

that I could do anything if I set

my faith to it

Running at 120 gives me the fun vibes

as the law can’t penalise you there

Will do it again if I get the chance

bengie will never make it though

lucky it’s knightie who delivered us there

driving is so much fun

sometimes we have to appreciate our license

after so many years

don’t think of it as a grant

but be thankful we can always

set out on

the ride of your life.